Sunday, June 1, 2008

The following entry is not a happy one. It is probably inappropriate to post, but I find this whole blogging thing somehow therapeutic. The only explination I have for posting it is that writing it down somehow makes me feel better. I don't know, maybe someone can give me advise, or just say something to help me feel better. I am in dispair.

Mom always said "You don't just marry the man, you marry his family," or something like that. Thomas' family is awesome. I didn't mind getting married to them at all. The problem is, I didn't realize that when you marry a man with children, you marry his ex-wife and her family.

I love Thomas, and his children. I have bonded with his two youngest like they are my own. However, we are having quite the struggle with visitation (thanks to a very vague divorce decree, and a very expensive, and worthless attorney.) Thomas' ex-wife is very controlling. She continually makes rules we have to follow if we want to see the kids, then flips them to the opposite extreme when we comply without incident. Her thought patterns are bizarre, and irrational.

We have never been allowed to have the children overnight. Her reason being (in not so many words) that we have a fourteen year old boy living in the house. We offered to place a "Nanny Cam" in each of their bedrooms, and would allow her access to the recordings. Still "too dangerous." Then she suggested they sleep in our room until "he" moves out. We agreed to this extreme demand. At which time she agreed to let them spend the night, only to change her mind hours before the planned pick-up time.

The "extreme danger" is now at his father's house in California for two week, so logically they should be allowed to spend the night. Yesterday she agreed that they could stay tonight, as long they each have their own bedroom. We were more than happy to comply. Taygen was so excited to shop with me for a pair of P.J.s (hopefully with princes on them) that she could keep here for when she sleeps in her new room. We couldn't have been more excited. Both of the children cried when we left them last night.

When Thomas call this morning to discuss a pick-up time, his ex-wife told him he would never see the children again, then abruptly ended the phone call. She has not responded to text messages, or answered her phone since.

Both Taygen and Jaxon expressed excitement over spending the night tonight. Jaxon is too young to question why they aren't here, but Taygen is very inquisitive. I'm worried about Tyra's explanation. I hope Tyra doesn't mislead Taygen, hurt her, or hurt our relationship with her.

I know that with time this will all be worked out in the court system. It just won't be fast enough.

Life is not always fair, but I have faith in God. "Faith without works is dead." We will do all we can do. Today we hired a new attorney. He specializes in family law (although we didn't know when we hired him, our old attorney was a bankruptcy attorney).

Please remember us in your prayers.

5 comments:

Carol_McD said...

We're proud of you Chris! With time and work with your new attorney, you will have an easier time getting the kids. We're so grateful you married Thomas, he's such a good man. We will help you, just let us know what we can do along with praying for help. Love, Mom

AMY MICHELLE said...

Oh, sis... I am so sorry. If she only knew how harmful she is being to the kids, getting their hopes up and then not letting them be with you guys! Though it is hard now, it will be great when all is worked out. I am so glad Thomas is a part of our family! We love you guys very much! Look forward to seeing you next week.

Teri said...

I don't think it's an inappropriate post at all. It's your blog and you just vent all you want! I'm so sorry, what a pain. I feel really bad for those poor little kido's, and you guys too, how frustrating. I think that getting the new attorney is a really good move.

The White Wash said...

Chris, I am sorry about the mess, but grateful to hear you have got a new attorney. I wish I could be there to share in the frustrations and joys. You are always in my prayers. Love ya, Miss

The Ropers said...

It is unfortunate that she is being the way she is without thinking about whats best for those kids! But I also think that it was a good thing to switch attorneys. It will all work out, you'll see!!